Here are 20 tips of wisdom about marriage. They were written by a recently divorced man. Normally, one is tempted to think that a man just divorced may not be the best person to give advice or to be a good husband … But this man is just passed through enough trials to find out what is important and efforts that are worth to be provided:
You can imagine, I’m not a marriage counselor or an expert in relationships. But having just divorced this week, I have some perspective on things that I regret not having done differently:
After losing the woman I loved, and destroying a marriage of 16 years, here’s the advice I would have liked to get a few years earlier …
- Never stop to woo her. Being an eternal lover.
NEVER take the woman you for granted. When you asked her hand, you promised one thing: Being a man who had won his heart, and that will protect him and keep him at all costs. This is the most important treasure, the more sacred than you will ever in your hands. She CHOSE you. Never forget that, and never be lazy and lax in your love.
- Protect your own heart.
Just as you have sworn to be the guardian of his heart, you will care of you with the same vigilance, the same consideration. Love yourself, love the world around you, but keep this little space in your heart in which nobody, except your wife will not go back. Keep this little space always ready to receive it, invite her to enter every day, but defend in the entrance because no one else has access to it.
- Fall in love again and again.
People change, permanently. You will not be the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same people you are today. Change is inevitable, and that’s why you must choose one or the other again every day. It is NOT obliged to stay with you, and if you’re not careful, you can lose and never able to catch your mistake. The fight to win her heart is a battle of every moment.
- Always see his best side.
Focus on the things you love. For the things which most attention is paid develop. If you focus on what irritates you, all you see, these are reasons to be upset. If you focus on what you love, you can not prevent you from experiencing love. Focus on you, until you reach the point where you can not see anything else than love, and unshakeable sense of being the luckiest man on earth to have such a woman as a companion.
- It’s not up to you to try to change or make better.
Your task is simple: to love as it is, without expectation or desire to see change. And if it does, it becomes like, whether what you wanted at the start – or not.
- Take responsibility for your own life.
Be responsible for your emotions. This is not the work of your wife make you happy, and it can not make you miserable either. It is the task lies with you to find your own happiness, and it is through this that this happiness will flow into your relationship.
- Do not put fault on her if you are upset.
NEVER put the fault on it if YOU are frustrated or upset. These are emotions that YOU belong. When you experience such feelings, take the time to step back, step back. Look for what is in YOU and must be cared for, repaired. If you have been attracted one day this woman, it’s because she sû to put you lift your heart, heal your wounds.
- Let her live.
Conversely, when she is sad or is stressed, it is not up to you to try to solve this problem. You simply hold her in your arms and tell her that everything is okay. Let him know that you love, that you keep at it and you hear it. You are the shoulder on which it can come to bear. When you see her upset, do not dodge. Stay present and listen to what she has to say really.
- Make the idiot from time to time.
Stop taking you so seriously. Laugh. Make her laugh. Laughter makes things so much easier …
- Fill the love, every day.
Learn their language, specific way she likes to be treated. Cherish, make him feel how important it is to you. If necessary, ask them to make a list of 10 things that make her feel loved and memorize them. Make her feel treated like a queen every day.
- Be there.
Do not just devote your time, but also offer him your attention, your energy and your soul. Do whatever is in your power to clear your mind so that when you are with her, you are REALLY her.
- Be prepared to take sexually.
Take here also the Consume, devour the men of your presence, and penetrate the depths of his soul. Let be a woman, let you be a man.
- Do not be an idiot.
Do not be an idiot, but do not be afraid not to be one. Everyone makes mistakes, too, and you too. We cannot avoid making mistakes, but we can try to do as little as possible. Learn from mistakes you make.
- Give him space.
The first quality that women, that is whether to give without counting. Sometimes you have the drive to take care of herself too. It will have to put out a little for you to find or feed his passions. Let take time for herself, ESPECIALLY if you have kids.
- Be vulnerable.
Be prepared to share your fears and emotions, and know reconnapitre your mistakes.
- Be transparent.
If you want to gain his trust, you should be prepared to share EVERYTHING, especially the things you want as little to share. It takes courage to love someone fully open his heart and let it go without knowing if it is going to love what she will find. Because to truly love someone, you have to love in its entirety, including the dark side. Drop the masks: If you feel that you have to wear a mask when present, and to be perfect all the time, you will never live the experience of love in all its entirety.
- Never stop growing together.
Standing water attracts mosquitoes and diseases, running water is always fresh and bubbly. Lorsu’on stop making work a muscle, it atrophies, and the same applies to a relationship. Find common issues, goals, dreams to which you want to move forward together.
- Stop worrying too with money.
Money is just a game. You are teammates that should play together in the same team. This will never help matters when teammates squabble. Learn to utilliser your local force.
- Forgive immediately.
Focus on the future rather than trying to carry the weight of the past. Do not let the past hold you hostage. Forgiveness is freedom. Cut the chains that bind you to the errors of the past and move forward as you can.
- Choose love
In the end, this may be the only advice you will really need. If this is the cornerstone, the basic principle of all your actions and choices, nothing will ever shake the link you with your wife. Love resists everything.
Marriage is like life, there are ups and downs. This is to appreciate all cycles, the experiences it provides, to have the strength and courage to continue to build, brick by brick, without stopping.
If you read this, and you find some wisdom in my suffering, share this message to those who need it. Young couples, future husband whose hearts still full of hope, and those who think they have forgotten what love was. Maybe one of these people will be in a similar situation at one time or another and these lessons I learned the hard way can opens his eyes and he will be required to man his companion waited.